Saturday, July 31, 2010

I need advice on a touchy subject could someone please help?

All my dad does is tell at me n my kim n my sister and tell us how stupid we are I feel unimportant and I am begining to wish he was gone I cry every night an I don't know what to do anymore can't go to a friend cuz I have non what should i do I try to make him happy bit it never works?I need advice on a touchy subject could someone please help?
say...





hey dad, look. i don't like the way u have been treatin me.k so id appreciate it f u could ease up and be a bit nicer..K...thanksI need advice on a touchy subject could someone please help?
Tell him how you truly feel on the inside and talk to him in a calm, civilized way. Telling your dad about how you feel might get him to realize what mistake he has made. Although it might feel a little awkward because maybe your anger has built inside and you want to yell at him, try your best not to yell or swear, that will only anger him more and your discussion with him will lead you to nowhere.


Even if your dad has not been nice to you or your sister, I believe everyone should be given chances, no matter how many mistakes they make. I feel this way because I know how it feels when someone is mad at me and I always want to be forgiven. Remember, everyone makes mistakes





Good luck and I hope you feel better.
Hmm, this is a pretty touchy subject. The best thing I can tell you is to try to tell a teacher or someone you trust. This is a pretty important manner and I know how you feel since I've felt this way too.





As well, remember that you don't have to believe anything anyone says, even your parents. Live life the way you want to live, don't let others boss you around, but be sure to also have some common sense!





Sorry if this doesn't help as this is a really important manner.
I understand how you feel. I get this a lot with my mum. I told her how I felt about it in a frank discussion in the end, and it turns out it's a bit of a blind spot for her. She doesn't understand that negatives hurt much more than positives help, so she always thinks that she's being a lot more constructive than she is. She also says she feels it's her responsibility to criticise me, but a lot of what she says makes me very uncomfortable.





If you don't want to go to a friend, perhaps seeing a counsellor might help. However what I did seems to have worked very well. I've simply accepted that my mum can't help acting like that (and lord knows it's not just me who sees it, because she's driving my brother to distraction). I've had to take a step back from all the fighting and the pain. Every time she has a go at me I just think ';oh, she's at it again,'; and take a step back from the situation. Turn off. Sometimes it's all you can do to defend yourself.
first off, i'm really sorry. this sucks!





obv. i'm going to tell you to talk to another adult about it, whether it be your mom or your counselor or someone else you trust





but always remember that its not your fault. its his own fault for being unhappy, %26amp; there's probably nothing you can do about it unless he like, leaves to get help


honestly, i'd just try to keep my distance %26amp; focus my energy in other extracirriculars (preferably something that will keep you out of the house)


also, it helps ALOT to look forward to your future, as nerdy as that sounds. start looking at out of state colleges %26amp; stuff.


but mainly, do whatever you can to keep yourself happy (watching tv is good bc it preoccupies your brain)





hope this helps, %26amp; good luck!
we learned in science that when a parent or another person that is important tells them that they are stupid they start to believe them if you are or not, that isn't right! Then in another class we are reading one of the seven habits books, and it said one thing not to form your life around was parent. My teacher told a story about a guy that had always tried to make his parents happy. He always got good grades. he wanted to become a teacher but his dad said there was no money in that so to make his dad and mom happy he changed careers. He is now a lawyer, but that still didn't make his parents happy. He regrets not having fun in his childhood. I know your father should be an important person in your life. He should be someone to look up to. Someone you can go to for help. Someone you love, someone that helps you, brings you up when you are sad. You could try to make your dad happy or make your self happy, ignore him, Im sure he is wrong. No one is dumb they are either a slow learner or dont do well in some places but god made you for a purpose. You are important! Dont cry because he is the stupid one. I dont care who you are you dont call someone stupid especially your own child! Who could be uncaring enough to do that?





This is probably not the answer you were looking for but I hope it helped!
I'm sorry to hear that. If it were me, I would just talk to him about how it makes you guys feel to hear that. Tell him that the things that he says to you makes you all feel very bad about yourself and that you just want to be happy. Still let him know you know that you want him and you to all be happy, and make sure he knows that he really is hurting your feelings.





Just sit down with him and discuss how you've been feeling and I hope that this will help.





Good Luck. :)
I have been in a similar situation and I can help. Verbal abuse is no less damaging than physical abuse. Is your mom in the picture? Maybe you should vent to another grown-up in your family and have them to talk with your father to see what is going on. If nothing changes after this just stay out of his presence, even go stay with another family member until he learns that his children have feeling also.
Oh my goodness! I fell horrible for you! Really! Do you have a mother? If so, try talking to her and explain the situation. Tell her every little detail and never give up hope. If the situation continues to get worse, maybe consider talking to a school councler and maybe call DYFUS. ( its a thing that keeps kids away from bad ppl. but it would have to be like, a relative i guess. look it up ) now if you have any more questions, plz plz email me at ahattem@yahoo.com





I may be ten, but i know someone who kinda went thru this too. i hope i helped!
omg i will be ur friend turn to me when someone dosent appreciate u dont appreciate them keep ur head heald high and don't let him get in your way just ignore him because one day you will be a strong independent person


as for the friend thing u need to be social and ask some nice people if they want to be ur friends start with the dorky people because they r always nice so just keep ur head held high because ur integrity is all u need
Either ignore his behavior, or talk to him about it. Or if your old enough you could just leave. He is probably just really stressed out or something. It's nothing you or your sister did, no parent should call their kids stupid. Don't start thinking you are either. Just talk to him, if your to shy then write him a letter I've done that before. :)
i used to have an abusive stepmom. what you need to do is just stay strong and wait. i kid you not, good things will happen if you just wait. ive waited and now i have a new stepmom, an xbox,ps3 awsome tv, and my life has been really good.i had to put up with her from when i was four, untill i was 12. im 15 now. pray, if you believe in god. what kind of things does he say to you?
THERE IS NOTHING U CAN DO 2 MAKE HIM HAPPY. HE IS MISERABLE AND TAKING IT OUT ON U. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT THAT HE MISTREATS U ITS HIS. INSTEAD OF TRYING 2 MAKE HIM HAPPY WHICH WONT WORK AND WILL ONLY MAKE U FEEL WORST. WHY DONT U TRY DOING SOMETHING THAT MAKES U HAPPY. WHETHER ITS READING A BOOK,TRYING A NEW RECIPE,LISTENING 2 YOUR FAVORITE SONGS. JUST KNOW THAT U R NOT STUPID, AND THOSE ARE HIS ISSUES AND PROBLEMS THAT HE IS TAKING OUT ON U.
Ignore him.


No one is stupid and unimportant and he's a terrible father for telling you and your sister such things. Try to make some friends to help you with this though. Or talk to a school counselor, they may be scary but they are alot of help.
talk to your mum or even grandma or someone really supporting and trustworthy and maybe take a shot at talking to him about it and how you feel and that you have been crying everynight and get your sister to be there at the same time. =]
I AM NOT A TRAINED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL, SIMPLY A MAN OFFERING AN OPINION





What you need is to talk to someone besides your father, weather it be a psychologist or a school official, an let them help you with your sticky relationship
You could try to ignore him and do the same to him and find a way to distract yourself from thinking about it.
you are not unimportant. sit down and tell him how you feel and tell him u cry every night. it will make him sad and then think what he is doing.
WWHAAAAAAT??????????????
tell him you love him?
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